Welcome! We are honored to be able to offer this space for comfort, solace, camaraderie and advice to our sisters in need � and all of their family, friends and supporters. Thank you for joining us.
Join our community
 RSS  Twitter  Facebook

The Fountain Of Age

Birthdays used to freak me out.

I can remember turning 25 and thinking the only milestones left were the awful ones – ‘dirty thirty’ … forty… old age…

Then cancer came calling and all of a sudden old age became a gift I could only hope to receive. My son was two when I found my tumors, and though I had him at the age of 41, it never occurred to me I might not live to see him grow into a man. I had taken my health as a given, and fully expected my body to behave in a way that guaranteed all my hopes and dreams would come true.

In the year that followed my diagnosis, I remained focused on the only prize that mattered to me: becoming well. I stopped paying attention to the extraneous issues of life. I didn’t really think beyond the day my treatment would end. Once that milestone passed, I concentrated on reclaiming the normalcy I’d missed, the day in and day out of my world.

That year, when my birthday dawned, instead of a sense of angst, I felt such an enormous swell of accomplishment rise up inside me. I was another year older. How many people who faced cancer could say that? Through luck, medicine and incredible support, I was growing older, and watching my son do the same. With my husband beside me, our lives were rolling on, our child was maturing, and we were setting goals for the years to come.

So many people believe that the best years of our lives happen when we’re young. There is certainly much to be made of the wonder and excitement of becoming an adult, and the incredible first-time experiences becoming a grown up can bring.

But one of the key reasons I consider my cancer experience a blessing is that I now understand how fleeting and fragile each moment is. I know that one day the sun will rise and I won’t be here to see it, but between that time and now, there is so much to relish, so much to embrace and enjoy. It’s not so much “big” events like births and weddings that resonate; it’s the sandy, salty smell of the beach on an autumn day, or seeing my almost eight year old boy strut out the door in football pads, off to a mighty mites game.

It’s waking up and being 49 and thinking man, I can’t wait till I’m 60! And smiling at all the wonder and joy I hope to experience between now and then.

3 Comments to The Fountain Of Age

  1. blairmary's Gravatar blairmary
    October 18, 2009 at 9:02 am | Permalink

    I can definitely identify with what you share here. In June I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer and it turned my world upside down. But God has blessed me beyond measure. I have made it through 3 rounds of chemo, just had my debulking surgery, and in 3 weeks start my last 3 rounds of chemo. I am 54 and have so much living to do. Life is so very precious. I will never look at life the same again.

  2. Elizabeth's Gravatar Elizabeth
    October 18, 2009 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    beautiful to think of life getting better every day, and age as something to look forward to and not be afraid of. In our youth obsessed society, it’s nice to think of being older as a good thing!

  3. laurie's Gravatar laurie
    November 6, 2009 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    getting older — yes, it beats the alternative. xxoo

Leave a Reply

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>